We all have those days we feel down, things just get blown out of proportion compared to a normal day, everything gets on top of you and you feel like your sinking wih no way out. Well battling PND pretty much results in everyday being one of those days.
Feeling constantl down and depressed is very tiring, add onto that the anxiety and paranoia and the demand of day to day life theres no wonder people find it hard.
It seems to be one of those things that no one fully understands or more to the point no one wants to understand, no one wants to admit to because they feel like theyve failed. But actually..... Its ok! Its just one of those things. Admitting you need help is the best thing you can do for yourself because then youre no longer alone. the only thing you seem to find is people either dont know how to speak to you or they completely ignore the fact yiu have it, offer no support and just iron over any issues they feel you may share with them for fear of saying the wrong thing.
Well one thing I will say is its a bloody lonely battle. No matter how many people are there for you, you still feel utterly alone. All the tablets in the world cannot take away that feeling. Some tablets for anxiety other to give you more motivation but if they change one for the other it causes more symptoms to come out that the other tablets were helping with....... whats the blinking point.
I feel like i should have an acting degree for the amount of time ive been able to act like everything is fine when inside youre falling apart and just want to scream at them to help you.
Its the loneliest battle in the world but it does get better, i've beaten it once before so surely I can do it again.......maybe.....
I would advise anyone who is suffering to confide in someone they trust and fell hey can rely on, and if you know someone suffering please please open your heart/ears to them. Just be there and support them! You have no idea how much difference it will make to their lives!!
Tuesday, 15 May 2012
Saturday, 28 April 2012
Who says life ends when you have children? For me its just the start!!
For as long as I can remember always believed in the fairy tale of meet the perfect man, fall instantly in love, have the big huge fairy tale wedding, have a gorgeous big house, a fabulous job, then start a beautiful family with said man.
The reality however became very different. Getting to be with my husband was a complicated battle from the start due to age's and illnesses. Meeting at the age of 12 was always going to leave margin for trouble to be honest. The fairy tale plan gave way to a different kind of plan. To just live!
It went from wedding, house, career, children to:-
Now I know that people say that having children young ruins the rest of your life, you get the odd 'you'll never amount to anything now' and 'youre life is over' but in all honesty they are so WRONG!!
My life turning out this way round has given me the push to make something of myself and prove to my children if you want something enough in life forget what everyine else says if you believe in yourself then anything will become possible! Having children young means you make the most out of life for a lot longer and you get longer to enjoy your children and be loved and love them!
Dont get me wrong it may not be for everybody but given the chance again I would change NOTHING!! Sure its taken alot of sacrifices (sleep obviously high up there) but
My Children are my life and inspiration and without them I would be nothing!
( and my husband isnt too bad either ) :)
Don't be afraid to be different, for all you know it could be the making of you!
The reality however became very different. Getting to be with my husband was a complicated battle from the start due to age's and illnesses. Meeting at the age of 12 was always going to leave margin for trouble to be honest. The fairy tale plan gave way to a different kind of plan. To just live!
It went from wedding, house, career, children to:-
- Engaged at 18
- Pregnant at 18
- First house (rented of course) at 18
- Gave birth at 19
- Married at 20
- Pregnant at 21
- Gave birth again at 21
- Started to focus on career 22!!
Now I know that people say that having children young ruins the rest of your life, you get the odd 'you'll never amount to anything now' and 'youre life is over' but in all honesty they are so WRONG!!
My life turning out this way round has given me the push to make something of myself and prove to my children if you want something enough in life forget what everyine else says if you believe in yourself then anything will become possible! Having children young means you make the most out of life for a lot longer and you get longer to enjoy your children and be loved and love them!
Dont get me wrong it may not be for everybody but given the chance again I would change NOTHING!! Sure its taken alot of sacrifices (sleep obviously high up there) but
My Children are my life and inspiration and without them I would be nothing!
( and my husband isnt too bad either ) :)
Don't be afraid to be different, for all you know it could be the making of you!
Friday, 27 April 2012
Friend for life or for suitable times??
What a wonderful day ( minus the hammering the bank.. well the husbands bank.... took this morning) baby and toddler events = bargain which therefore = dangerous!! This morning was spent with the family then took my little man to pre-school ( who came home with a beautiful flower picture and a plant seed in a plastic cup full of soil for him to grow ) the this afternoon was spent with a very good friend and her gorgeous little girl!
I never though that having children could cause so many people to just evapoate from you life. The people you thought would be there forever just stop all contact and make no effort. However you do find out who your true friends really are and i'm so pleased to say I have 1 of my very best friend back in my life after far to many years apart and many more best friends who I know can reply on and who will always be there for me :) !! However it is really bizarre to be surrounded by so many people and yet feel so alone most of the time. I just want a happy life for my boys and want them to grow up and have good close bonds with friends not be alone!
Anyway after such a good day I have decided to treat myself to a nice tea, glass of wine and a night chilling in front of the TV. After all everyone deserves a night off now and again surely?? Even if the husband is on nights.......
I never though that having children could cause so many people to just evapoate from you life. The people you thought would be there forever just stop all contact and make no effort. However you do find out who your true friends really are and i'm so pleased to say I have 1 of my very best friend back in my life after far to many years apart and many more best friends who I know can reply on and who will always be there for me :) !! However it is really bizarre to be surrounded by so many people and yet feel so alone most of the time. I just want a happy life for my boys and want them to grow up and have good close bonds with friends not be alone!
Anyway after such a good day I have decided to treat myself to a nice tea, glass of wine and a night chilling in front of the TV. After all everyone deserves a night off now and again surely?? Even if the husband is on nights.......
Thursday, 26 April 2012
“All our dreams can come true – if we have the courage to pursue them.” – Walt Disney
Hellooo glass of well deserved wine. Although my husband now believes I have an alcohol issue, oh well. Its been a very long day after a night full of chorus coughing from me and the boys, a day full of Homestart training and then home to two tired poorly boys ( including the rather stressing subject of safeguarding and abused children :( ) . Then much to my suprise I found a second wind and re-arranged most of my house and re-organised nearly everything. The debate that is now going on in my head is between having a night off to relax or throwing myself into yet another assessment. Whilst going through this debate I stumbled upon a rather inspirational quote and is now safe to say I shall be pursuing the path of doing my assessment. If i d not post for a while im drowning under a pile of human rights papers and of course wine!!
“All our dreams can come true – if we have the courage to pursue them.” – Walt Disney
Wednesday, 25 April 2012
The best time of the day!
Ah, been looking forward to this time all day... the bit where the kids are in bed, everything is cleaned and ready for another day, bags & lunches ready for tomorrow and the husband at work for a whole other hour! Bliss! Been one of those days which slowly spirals downhill from pants wet weather, PND peeking out, teething baby and overtired 3 year old (who are finally sleeping). However the relaxation is not set to last as when the hubby get home *groan* he will take over the t.v forcing me to resort to polishing of some of my Access to midwifery course assessments for submission.Further to this i have a bit of work to do for my Homestart volunteer course to polish off and also applying for some further voluntary work....... that be my early night out the window. Ah well!! Worth it in the end.
Tuesday, 24 April 2012
My Very first blog and a bit about me!
Welcome to my very first blog :)
Allow me to introduce my self. Im a young mummy of two young boys who always dreamed as a career in Midwifery. This dream was put on hold after the birth of my first little boy, now 3 and was forgotten about. The birth of my second little boy however, now 10 month, seemd to bring the desire to do thhis back in full force. College wasnt really an option so I decided to do an at home full time course. I am currently working part time in customer services, as well as being a mummy to two, a wife, a housekeeper and battling Post Natal Depression I decided to embark on an Access to Midwifery Diploma course to finally fulfil my life long ambition (because my life isnt hectic enough obviously) !! This seems to be going well.So im hoping you will follow me on my journey to prove that just because you're a young mum doesnt mean you never get to be what you wanted to be. :)
Until next time x
Allow me to introduce my self. Im a young mummy of two young boys who always dreamed as a career in Midwifery. This dream was put on hold after the birth of my first little boy, now 3 and was forgotten about. The birth of my second little boy however, now 10 month, seemd to bring the desire to do thhis back in full force. College wasnt really an option so I decided to do an at home full time course. I am currently working part time in customer services, as well as being a mummy to two, a wife, a housekeeper and battling Post Natal Depression I decided to embark on an Access to Midwifery Diploma course to finally fulfil my life long ambition (because my life isnt hectic enough obviously) !! This seems to be going well.So im hoping you will follow me on my journey to prove that just because you're a young mum doesnt mean you never get to be what you wanted to be. :)
Until next time x
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